20 Things Not To Worry About In Your Twenties

Oh well hello there, adulthood. Haven’t you have been thrust upon me, oh so suddenly? Am I ready for this? Absolutely not. Will I ever be ready? Probably not.

If you have ever thought the above, here are 20 things you shouldn’t worry about when embarking on adult life because we’re all in the same boat – and if not, you’re in the same boat with me at least so, lucky you!

  1. It’s totally okay that you are only borderline managing full-time work and go to bed before 9pm most/every night
  2. It’s also okay if you choose to do the same at weekends too because cosy nights in are so much more enjoyable than nights out – especially in winter! It is recommended you at least attempt to leave the comfort of your bed for the occasional weekend/night out because that’s how you keep friends (the few that you have, anyway) and avoid looking like a total recluse. Even if you eventually end up canceling to crash in front of the TV for Take Me Out instead; your efforts will be duly noted.
  3. While you’re in bed avoiding social situations and taxi queues it’s also fine that you’re wearing your pyjamas 97% of the time – who invented bras anyway?
  4. You’re not the only one who can’t keep real plants alive. Familiar yourself with the wonderful world of IKEA’s plastic plant selection immediately for 100% green success.
  5. You don’t have a long term plan? No sweat, none of us do. I don’t even know what I’m having for my dinner for one day to the next, let alone how and when I’m going to become a millionaire.
  6. It’s okay not to like any chart music; it’s shite and aimed at like, 12 year olds. Apart from Rihanna with all her S&M references; that’s not so 12 year-old friendly.
  7. As per the above, it’s totally normal to refer to anyone younger than you as a 12 year-old. For example, “Why is this bar full of like, 12 year-olds? I wish I was at home watching Take Me Out instead.”
  8. It’s okay to not actually enjoy going to the gym and yes, it’s still okay that you  insist on ‘Instagram-ing’ every session you do manage force yourself into because a) it makes you feel better about life and b) it makes you look good.
  9. Forgotten to send a birthday card? Life is hard when you’re on your own for birthdays. Why can’t mum still write my name in the ‘family card’? No sweat though – Facebook is a saviour in these situations; ‘Oh heeeey there James, so sorry this post is late but Happy Birthday! I was so busy doing adult life that I forgot to look at Facebook to remember it’s your birthday. Love you long time, so glad we’ve been friends 15 years.’ Note: if you’ve missed your Gran’s 80th, this is probably not the answer as she more than likely doesn’t have Facebook and therefore, you’re kinda screwed.
  10. Everyone is partial to a social media stalk; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s also wholly acceptable to stalk members of the same sex more than you do the opposite #howyousoflawless.
  11. The news: avoid like the plague – it’s depressing as hell. Countryfile, on the other hand, will make you feel like Snow White (before the poison apple).
  12. The hairdressers is always awkward and you will always not enjoy looking at yourself with wet hair and smudgy make-up for an hour after your super awkward head massage from the resident 12 year-old trainee (see can’t help it!)
  13. It’s okay to be single. Contrary to how social media makes you feel; you are not the only one.
  14. No matter how you much you mentally prepare yourself by arguing with yourself in the shower, when you do actually bump into your mortal enemy you’ll do nothing more than walk swiftly past, awkward smile and mutter, “Hi, y’alright?” It’s cool though, he/she will do the same and you’ll both kick yourselves afterwards.
  15. Useful fact: Heels are satan. Slippers are little pieces of heaven.
  16. You will have the urge to both succeed in your job yet also to leave country, travel the world and live like a hippy for the rest of your life with nothing but a stray dog and a blanket on a stick. That’s normal.
  17. School wasn’t the best time of your life. School sucked. University was far superior to school; no-one bullies you, you can drink five nights a week (or more) and you get to stay in bed until like 10am because you have one lecture at 11am and then it’s pub time for the remaining 12 hours of the day.
  18. House work is shit. We’re all in this struggle together (unless you can afford a maid/cleaner). Tips: if you hang clothes up long enough they dry semi-uncreased, dishes will eventually dry if left on the side long enough and no-one will be able to tell how many times you’ve worn the same white shirt to work.
  19. Not everyone is pregnant and/or engaged – it just feels that way.
  20. It’s utterly okay that you have no idea what you’re doing and why. Life just happens.
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